How to teach your children well? Many parents are having a tough time teaching their children to behave well. When children reach about 2-3 years old, they begin to have plenty of requests which they want us, as a parent to agree upon.
I also have a tough time to teach my daughter about manners and I find them useful techniques which I want to share it here with you in this article.
How to teach your children well?
Discipline is what we have to concern about as part and parcel of the upbringing of children. Children is like a white piece of paper, they cannot differentiate what is good, bad, safe and unsafe act. Therefore, it is our responsibility to intervene and to correct them. How to go about it? Are hitting and shouting an effective way to teach your children to behave well? Let’s find out.
Tactic of say YES means NO
Sometimes parents say NO too often to their child and always cave in at the end especially children start to cry out loud and left sobbing in misery. Children hear a lot of No and get immune to it. Therefore, it ends up children may pay little to NO attention to what their parents say. It means nothing to them anymore.
When children grow bigger, it is even harder to tell them NO. Instead of telling them stop doing this and that by saying NO, how about if we change to “YES BUT….”. I think it is more amiable compared to just say NO.
Example, if a child is asking for an ice cream near to the meal time, you can tell her/him that YES, of course, BUT you need to finish your pasta first. Today mommy has cooked you yummy pasta with your favorite meat ball. You can have an ice cream after dinner with daddy, mommy and your brother ya.
Try to switch her/his attention to something he/she likes doing or eating or playing. Normally, it will work if you manage to switch their attention to something else they are more interested in.
Say NO and really mean it
Sometimes, baby slow talk does not always work especially when they become toddler. They think they could ask for anything they like doing and beg their parent to fulfill their wishes.
If you already say NO to your child, mean it! If you cave in too easily, it will become meaningless to them. I think it is not easy to say than done, but normally, children will get tired of it if they fail to get what they want by crying out loud, or shouting or messing things around.
Sometimes, parents will feel heartbreaking to see them sobbing in misery if they cannot get what they want but keep in mind, say NO with firmness in your voice when communicating the reasons why you cannot let your child to have their own way is very important.
Remember, dear parent, cave in to your child request will only make your parenting life more difficult in future especially even harder when children turn to teenagers.
Is it necessary to shout at children?
I sometimes know it is really frustrating when you have a crying child who is begging you for some unreasonable request. Shouting at them is quite common mistake most parent do especially when you need to attend something in urgency.
Is shouting effective? The answer is NO. Yelling and shouting do more harm than good to both you and your child. It will cause behavior problem and emotional development issues in long term. Shouting and yelling may work temporary to silence them but will give way to depression and self-esteem issue after that.
Try to communicate with your child in a calm and warm manner. Parent have to stay calm in the first place too. Try to switch the topic of conversation to something he/she might interest and other way to distract them is the best resort.
I know it is not easy as I have made this mistake as well. Try to stay calm and take a deep breath. Silence is sometimes a good weapon to stop yelling and shouting.
Children deserve an explanation for No.
When you say NO, children deserve an explanation for the reason. Otherwise, they are likely to repeat the behavior again.
As an adult, we understand and aware of the danger but children cannot differentiate what is good or bad, safe or unsafe. It is our responsibility to tell them the reason behind the No. Sometimes, children cannot imagine what is explained but we will show them as much as possible the examples.
Don’t give empty promises
Never make empty promises as children will unlikely to trust their parents say to them. Sometimes do empty promises will give false hope that one day he/she will get what he/she wants. In long term by giving false promises, your child will lose trust in you and your words.
If you have made a promise, really mean it. Tell them it is not now but accompany it with the right time so that your child may expect you to make good on your promise.
If children are having some behavior issue and you need to correct them, do it privately. Do not embarrass them in front of other people, as sometimes, children will feel humiliated and bring the humiliating experience into their adulthood.
Go to a private place and clearly communicate the reason for misbehavior and consequences if the misbehavior continues.
Parenting is always not an easy task. Especially when it comes to children discipline or behavioral issue. How to teach your children well and raise a good kid are major tasks and lesson to learn to all the parent out there.
One more thing which I think it is quite important to note in this end of article is about conflict in making same decision when handling children discipline issue between two parents.
One parent say NO and the other one say YES, split of permission may create a manipulative habit in a child. It does no good as the child will turn their head to the other parent who says yes. Children will lose respect to you or your partner because all he/she needs to do is to get his/her way to ask the other parent.
Communication between your partner and you be important, only one decision is finally made before communicating with the child.
I have previously written an article about “good eating habits for kids“. Click on the link to get access to this article if you are interested to read on.